Weekend at Home and a Reunion

Now a week into retirement no one is asking, "how's retirement?" I'm glad that's over. What projects do I have this week? One. Find a project! Maybe this blog could be one. It's been more than two months since I've written anything. I have been reading. The latest is "Team of Rivals, The Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln" by Doris Kearns Goodwin. The Civil War has finally begun after 400 pages into it. She is very thorough. In the midst and early in his administration there is lots of yelling going on around the President and lots of people giving him what for and loose advice. He amazingly keeps his cool and makes measured decisions. (kept and made) I find myself yelling, decide something, Mr. President, please. This was going on almost 150 years ago. No, not my yelling, his administration and "the recent unpleasantness" of the war. It's a great book, I recommend it.

For the first time in several years we were able to go to the family reunion in Asheville, NC. For most of the past years we were busy with the start of school and couldn't make it to see all our aunts, uncles, and cousins. So, last weekend we all gathered at Lake Junaluska in Western North Carolina and ate and ate and ate. We caught up on, "what do you think about life, in general?" That is such a dangerous question, but one that you learn to smile at and to say, "in general, good." I volunteered to be the "official" photographer for this event; after we arrived. It's important to get the principals and the children in your shots. Well, for me my children are the principals, but I got most everyone else too. I did take a few large group shots that turned out OK. It'll be one of those you can look back on and see who was there then. Of course cousin Jimmy was running around and claiming some excuse about waiting on Judy and kids and didn't get in the shot.

Our great hosts for the weekend were Marshall and Trudy at their very comfortable home in Fletcher. We all cheered for our favorite dancers during the "So You Think You Can Dance" finals. We were all split on the final four, but I chose the winner. When you get together with family you eat really well. We all know that Marshall makes a great burger, 'nuf said. Trudy treated us with double rich chocolate cake and hot luscious peach cobbler ala mode.

Eleanor, Emily and Estelle spent lots of time going to the nature center, the children's museum, visiting friends and probably going to a fabric store or two. We did have a couple of meals with mom. I think she's doing and looking great. She says that she doesn't have much strength anymore, but she did pretty well this weekend. Mom and I drove up Blue Ridge Parkway almost to Craggy Gardens. We got stopped by roadwork so didn't have too much time to look at the mountains. We did notice how lush green everything was. We had lunch at Chelsea's in Biltmore Village just across the street from where mom used to live at One Boston Way after they had to leave the Estate for a while during the depression. Mom also reminded me of her first date with daddy up Chimney Rock. She told me he was showing off kicking a match box around and dangling his feet off the edge of a big rock. She still shakes her head at some of the dangerous things he did to show off. Dad was amazing. Mom is amazing.

It was great to see Ed and Nancy home from Virginia. Ed has a huge garden that he often over stocks with beans, corn, tomatoes and such. Thankfully he brought us all some Silver Queen roastnears.

We'll be going back to Asheville in September and I'll take a few copies of the BIG photo home to mom.

Retirement, I'm not there yet. The official "day" hasn't arrived, but some official send offs have plucked my soul. "Well, how does retirement feel?" How do I answer that? I think the question gets at what am I feeling as I go through the process. The question implies, what are you going to do? Are you really not coming back? How can you not come back? You're not going to do anything? You're not dead or dying, what will you do every day? Are you happy, sad, worried, relieved? It's a tough question to answer. Most retirees have not retired before, so don't have a clue. The celebrations and recognitions are wonderful. The words spoken about me and to me are powerful, but even though they are using my name, they can't be talking about me. My mind steps aside and pretends this is all for someone else. It's easier to manage and enjoy while not becoming a blubbering mass of emotion. Selfishly I want to hear what is being said about me. My response is clinical. My training tells me, "you're going to get through this, just pay attention, there will be a test later." I think maybe I'm cheating those I love by not emoting more, or enough. How do they judge whether I've truly heard and "feel" what expressions of love they "feel." I hear you, I really do.

I'm not complaining. When you die, they bring flowers and talk nice about you. When you divorce, no one brings flowers and everyone quietly talks about you. When you retire, you get to see the flowers and hear the words. Retirement is better and that's the only one of these three I've experienced.

I think it's great fun to hear from "old timers" relate what they did or what they did together. I'd forgotten Rob Sharpe and others broke into the BSU by taking the red door off its hinges. Who remembers we had a red door? Who hangs a door with hinges on the outside? Leave it to clever college boys to figure a way in just to play a game of Balderdash. Why would Barry Johnson and other accomplices bury an Al Gore campaign sign in the BSU backyard? I don't get that one. And Stacy, you and other unnamed conspirators crashed into my truck and "buffed it out!?" I'm sure there are photos out there of lots of other escapades. I would never have known about the "table slide" without someone putting them up on Facebook. I'm sure Stephen Head invited you all to an Airsoft battle "in" the BCM when I explicitly forbade it. And now, that former Resident is an Army Chaplain! I wonder what Maj. David Bottoms and Maj. Mike Wood would say about that. For those of you who remember the "Chums," they were harmless, but many of you were afraid they were undermining the mission of the B, when they were actually delighting in being "on mission." Two time BSU President, Troy Rust will forever be banned as Gargamel by the Chumalums Damon, Richard and Joe. What a hoot.

Thanks for the surprise party. Thanks for walking with me. Thanks for the memories.

Tradition

"The JIMee awards are presented annually to persons who have singularly distinguished themselves during their BCM experience. JIMees are given in a spirit of 'revelry and merriment' and there is no intent to slander or offend the recipients."

They laughed at and with each other. Then I learned they were poking fun at my big ears. Sixteen years ago Ali Leding and Mike Wallace were creating a large "Oscar" on the bulletin board. They wouldn't call this golden statue an Emee, Tony or Oscar, but a "JIMee." My big ears were included. I don't think they gave any thought to establishing a tradition. We had annual award's nights for several years before 1993. We even had a couple of them on the "Queen of Clarksville" riverboat. I think Ali and Mike simply wanted to give the event a theme. That year it was "A Night at the JIMees." It worked.  Students adopted the name to refer to the awards night the following year and have continued the JIMees for 16 years.  This year's JIMee theme is Ancient Rome. Can't imagine what some students will look like in a toga.

We've had some strange awards. One that's been around every year is the "Most Likely to Tick Jim Off" award.  Many never have to work hard to earn this award. They begin the year working for it.  Some awards have included: the Dennis Rodman Sportsman award, Best Mullet award, I'm going to land me a man/woman if it's the last thing I do award, or alternately called the "scheme dog award." Students have been recognized for being cute, clumsy, red-headed, late to class, never going to class, or always having their head in a book, best team member on a mission trip or being a servant-leader.

Another award that has been offered for several years is "most likely to replace Jim." The JIMee committee has humorously anointed many students for this award.  Today I would be excited and pleased to see any one of them leading this ministry. However, and no surprise, none have stayed, but are around the world shining His light in other dark places.

First Born: Peter Mitchell

I think we thought about his name for a good while.  Well, Estelle and I thought about having a baby for quite awhile. How long do you wait after you are married to have a baby anyhow? Someone said that maybe you ought to wait a few years to get to know and enjoy each other because when the baby arrives that's over.  Well, I don't think that's true. We still enjoy each other after 40 years.  

Today is Peter's 37th birthday.  He called last night to check in. Well it really was to find out where we were. He found us in Nashville baby sitting Eleanor, our granddaughter.  That is always a good guess.  

Peter was a beautiful baby.  You know some babies are not. Sometimes you just can't bring yourself to say "that's a beautiful baby."  Maybe you can say, "wow, that's a baby!"

Peter was a happy, strong-willed, but reasonable child. I remember when we took him to the hospital when he was almost two with a mean staff infection. He had to be quarantined with what they called "scalded child syndrome."  He was pitiful and we were scared to death.  My daddy called to say, "son, you're doing the right thing."  I remember how consoling that was and how much I cried when he said that.  Peter had to be tied down to have an I V in his little arm.  

Peter includes others.  He has always drawn energy from others. He loves parties so much that he's already planning his 40th birthday party.  He loves to teach to coach to encourage.  I think he still remembers what his sixth grade teacher, Mrs. Hunt, taught him about "polishing."    When any of us in the family have a project we are working on we may send a paragraph or two around and ask for input or for editing.  None of us are offended by honesty.  We communicated most excellently well before the internet or cell phones.

Peter just celebrated 15 years with the Walt Disney Company.  He's still got the magic touch.  I don't think I could tell you what he does there.  No, it's not a secret, it's just too complicated to explain. I think of him as a teacher - communicator - fixer.  I think Walt does too.

When Peter called last night he told me that he and Jesus often shared April together.  I know when I think about Peter, Jesus is near.  

Happy birthday, my beautiful son.